


A Pretty Good Bad Idea

by alrambles



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff and Humor, I wrote this and I am embarrassed for him, M/M, No beta we die like wwx, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, dark magician girl tier, dpod server drabble night made me do it, drunk atem is embarrassing, this is literally the dumbest thing ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 09:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30036258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alrambles/pseuds/alrambles
Summary: It should be said that, in the history of all time and space, no good decision was ever made after a third shot of tequila unless the decision was a bottle of water and a ride home. However, this time, Atem was convinced that he was onto something. And unlike the last time with the feather boa and the stripper pole, his friends actually seemed like they agreed.Or, Atem gets drunk with his friends and decides that he has to ask Seto Kaiba out. Immediately.
Relationships: Kaiba Seto/Yami Yuugi | Atem
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11
Collections: Dark Pride of Dimensions Drabble Night Collection





	A Pretty Good Bad Idea

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is sponsored by me looking at Em’s art in the dpod server and then flipping through dialogue prompts. Pink Atem lives in my mind rent free now. Please imagine him in a pink leather ensemble post bar crawl throughout this fic.  
> (also this fic has nothing to do with Waitress I just thought it would be a funny title)

It should be said that, in the history of all time and space, no good decision was ever made after a third shot of tequila unless the decision was a bottle of water and a ride home. However, this time, Atem was convinced that he was onto something. And unlike the last time with the feather boa and the stripper pole, his friends actually seemed like they agreed.

“Oh my god I can’t wait to see the look on Rich Boy’s face.” 

...Mostly. For a given measure of agreeing. At the very least, Yugi, Joey, Tea, and Tristan were standing outside the gates of Kaiba Mansion with him, so that had to count for something. Even if they didn’t fully approve of his decision to ask Kaiba out tonight, his heart was warmed by their choice to accompany him, even though it was a bit of a hike from the bar to the mansion. As had been the case for the better part of the last hour, Atem set his feet firmly towards his destination and determinedly, if a little crookedly, strode onwards, leaving his friends to trail behind him. 

Atem approached the stout gatehouses huddled outside the walkway to the mansion without fear. There was usually only one of them, but Kaiba must have added another one since the last time he was here. Atem calmly disregarded the fact that he had last been at the mansion right before leaving to bar crawl with his friends and that not even Kaiba could have had a second gatehouse built in that timeframe. He also disregarded the fact that the three tequila shots were not his only drinks of the night but rather the most recent and therefore probably had more to do with the second gatehouse than Kaiba. 

Upon reaching the gatehouses, he boldly declared his intentions.

“I’m here to duel Kaiba!”, he shouted to the midpoint between the gatehouses. They were now merging, he would have to congratulate Kaiba on the optical illusion he had no doubt designed. 

“You’re here to duel Mr. Kaiba?”, asked a skeptical voice to his right.

So the left was a false gatehouse! How cunning! As expected of Kaiba. He turned to his right to focus on the true gatehouse and beamed when he saw his favorite gate guard, Leo. 

“Of course I am, Leo, what else would I be here for?” He laughed loudly after his question, a little flustered. People normally didn’t question his intentions to duel Kaiba but he supposed there was a first time for everything. He didn’t see why there was any need for skepticism, even as he struggled to maintain his balance after his laughter had almost knocked him off his feet. 

“...Of course, I’ll just let Mr. Kaiba know you’re-”

“No,” Joey exclaimed, lurching forwards from where he had been standing behind Atem to wrap his arm around the man’s shoulders and say with a mischievous grin, “we want to surprise him!” 

Atem gasped softly, what a brilliant idea! He would have to thank Joey after all of this if it went well. 

“You want to… surprise duel Mr. Kaiba?”, Leo questioned, a confused look on his face. Honestly Atem didn’t see what wasn’t to get, it made perfect sense to him. He had to keep his rival on his toes after all. 

“Yes, he does,” came a soft but firm voice from behind them. Atem beamed. He knew he could always count on Yugi to have his back. Yugi stepped forward to be level with Atem and Joey and gave his best smile to Leo, only swaying lightly, which Atem privately thought was impressive considering Yugi had monopolized a sake bottle the second he had suggested this adventure. Good for him! He turned his eyes back to Leo the gate guard who was looking between the three of them in disbelief. His eyes briefly flashed behind them, to where Atem was peripherally aware of Tristan and Tea holding each other up. The five of them must have gotten through to him though, because in the next second Leo groaned in defeat.

“I’ll let you in, but I have to give Isono a head’s up, ok?” He asked, in what Atem thought was an entirely too exasperated tone for what had only been, at maximum, a five minute conversation. Nonetheless, he nodded his head regally in response, leaning further into Joey when the motion sent his head spinning. 

Leo disappeared back into the real gatehouse and did something that made the gate lift at last. Atem smiled once more and began the trek up to the house, dragging Joey, who dragged Yugi. Tristan and Tea, still leaning on each other, ambled after them as well. 

It was then that their party was confronted with another problem. 

“I don’t have a key”, said Atem, stopping in his tracks. Joey cursed in response, though he couldn’t be quite sure if that was due to the lack of key or the fact that Atem suddenly stopping meant he careened headlong into one of Kaiba’s manicured hedges. 

“Indeed”, he responded, just to cover all of his bases as Yugi giggled at the image of Joey sticking half in and half out of a Blue Eyes White Dragon topiary. 

“You could try a window”, Tea offered, now leaning on Atem as her support, aka Tristan, attempted to fish Joey out of the bush with minimal success. 

“Of course, great idea, Tea!” Atem responded. They spent a long moment looking up at the mansion in front of them, eyes searching for a window that would allow him access.

“There!” 

It was Yugi who had found it, pointing out a half open window on the ground floor. Two windows away, a light was on in the room inside, which meant one of the Kaiba brothers was awake. Hopefully it was the one he needed. 

Stumbling forward again, he made his way to this newest challenge, leaving Yugi behind to support Tea and both of them to call out unhelpful advice to Joey and Tristan, who were still attempting to get the former out of the dragon shaped hedge. The window began at a height little higher than Atem’s waist, but was unfortunately only open about the length of his forearm. It would be a tight fit, but he wouldn’t let that stop him.

Once in front of the window, he placed his hands on the sill and heaved, his head and upper body easy clearing the window and entering the room beyond, his torso following until-. 

Oh no. 

He flailed, arms akimbo and slapping against the wall below him as his front fell forward through the window and his back remained stubbornly stuck outside. It seemed he had run into the same problem as Joey, except he wanted to keep moving forward, not back out. He swore and attempted to return to forward motion with little effect. 

Suddenly, footsteps sounded in the hallway, getting closer. They were no doubt attracted by the unholy ruckus Atem was making, cursing and thumping as he tried to get himself out and through the window.

The door flung open. The lights flipped on. And there Seto Kaiba stood, arms crossed and uncharacteristically silent as he took in the sight of his, perhaps, admittedly not sober rival stuck halfway through his window. Atem flushed. Then flushed even harder when he looked at the man again. He was dressed down for once, in a soft looking wool sweater and worn jeans, and suddenly Atem’s heart was thumping and his stomach was swooping and he was 88% sure it wasn’t the alcohol. Atem grinned nervously.

“I can explain”, he started. And then stopped. This was harder than he thought it would be. And not just because his ass was starting to get chilly in the night air. Who knew bar clothes were so drafty? 

“Please”, Kaiba said, stepping into the room, “I’m all ears.” 

Kaiba walked forward until he stood in front of Atem, eyebrow raised and an unimpressed look on his face as he took in the sorry state of affairs. Atem screwed up his courage and decided ripping it off like a band-aid was the way to go.

“I’m here to ask you out”, he said, staring Kaiba in the eyes unflinchingly, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you and I didn’t want to wait a moment longer, so I walked here from the bar with my friends so I could ask you out on a date.” A beat of silence. Atem held his breath. 

“You-, with your”, Kaiba’s jaw worked as he tried to find the words, clearly stunned. Atem didn’t blame him, he was kind of stunned that he’d said it so boldly himself. However, his spirits were bolstered by the fact that Kaiba just looked surprised more than anything else. If the idea of dating him was intolerable to Kaiba, he’d have been pushed back out of the window by now. But he also still hadn’t said yes. Before he could think on it further, their stalemate was interrupted by another set of footsteps thumping down the hallway. 

“Setoooo! C’mon, you can’t hide from me just because I’m kicking your butt this time! I told you I had been studying the Caro-Kann Defense,” Mokuba yelled as he ran into the room. He blinked, then grinned. “Oh, hi Atem! Guess that answers why Seto didn’t come back to chess night. What are you doing here, stuck in our window?”

“Mokuba,” Atem cheered, grinning at the force of nature in a boy’s body, “I’m asking your brother out.”

Mokuba froze mid-step to stare at him, mouth agape, before slowly turning to his older brother. An unholy grin lit up on his face. 

“Did he just say-”

“Yes.”

“But I thought-”

“Yes.”

“Is he seriously-”

“Yes.”

“Huh. Are you gonna say yes?”

“Mokuba!”

Kaiba closed his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. If Atem didn’t know better, he’d say Kaiba was praying for patience. But he did know better, because Kaiba would sooner put Kuriboh in his deck than cede to the existence of a higher power, so that clearly couldn’t be it. He nodded to himself decisively, impressed with his own logic and insight into the higher workings of Kaiba’s mind. But that wasn’t the most important thing right now.

“Yeah, Kaiba, are you gonna say yes?” Atem gave his best smirk, trying to ignore the swooping feeling in his gut as he projected false confidence towards the man who monopolized his thoughts so much that Atem had walked a mile in the dark post bar crawl to ask him out on a date. Which, oh, so the swooping feeling wasn’t alcohol, it was just Kaiba. Good to know. 

Kaiba’s shoulders tensed and he looked back down from the ceiling to Atem with a fierce glare. But his nervousness must have come through somehow because Kaiba seemed to deflate where he stood and his eyes softened as he walked toward where Atem was still stuck in the window. 

“Atem”, Kaiba began, undoing the latch on the window to lift it higher, “we…”, he paused to step back as Atem finally hauled himself into the room, “we are already dating.”

Atem’s mouth dropped open in an ‘o’ shape as he looked up in shock at Kaiba, who was now slowly turning red and fidgeting with the sleeves of his sweater. Just as his eyebrows knitted together in a scowl and his mouth opened to say something, Atem grinned.

“That’s great news”, he exclaimed, and watched in satisfaction as the knot in Kaiba’s brow melted to make way for an expression of pleased surprise, “but that still doesn’t answer my question.” 

And the glare was back. But once again, it melted away, Kaiba rolling his eyes and letting out a gusting sigh before he seemed to gather himself on his next inhale. Kaiba faced Atem and squared his shoulders. Resolute blue eyes met Atem’s own and he felt himself unconsciously straightening in response, looking directly back at his apparently-boyfriend.

“Yes, I will go out with you.” 

The fond look in Kaiba’s eyes as he said it? The slight softening of his mouth into a tiny smile? The fact that apparently they’d been dating this whole time? This was even better than any of the outcomes he had imagined on the walk to the mansion. Clearly the only response to be made was to launch himself at the man he loved, wrap his arms around Kaiba’s waist and bury his cold nose in the comfy wool sweater. Mission so, so accomplished. 

“You guys are gross.”

“Mokuba!”

“So let me see if I have this right. You, all of you, walked to the mansion at 11 o’clock at night, on foot, so that my drunk boyfriend could ask me out?” Kaiba asked incredulously. It was very clear that any points they’d gained in his estimation of their intelligence were long gone. 

“Well when you put it like that…”, Joey mumbled out, still covered in leaves and swaying slightly. 

"He was really insistent, Kaiba", Yugi added, frowning, though it honestly made him look like a kitten about to sneeze, "Really insistent." Each of his friends nodded, a vaguely haunted look coming to their eyes. 

Kaiba pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. 

“You have one minute to get your asses to the front door and inside the mansion before I leave you out here to freeze.” Kaiba’s tone was scathing and immediately after he said it, he slammed the window shut and yanked the curtains closed behind it, leaving the four of them blinking up in shock at where he had disappeared. Really, the threat might have had more of an impact if the distance to the window actually disguised the fact that his cheeks were a glowing, firetruck red. 

**Author's Note:**

> As soon as they get inside:  
> Atem: Guysssss! Kaiba likes me back!  
> Joey, shaking leaves out of his hair: that’s nice, buddy.  
> I will die on the joey and atem brotp hill tbh. Like obvs yugi and atem have an untouchable bond but the ridiculousness that joey and atem could get up to is criminally underrated imo.  
> Also yes, atem never lives this down ever. He’ll probably be on a video call with the people in aaru and they’ll already know and be roasting him about it. The egyptian gods probably roast him about it when they weigh his soul, that’s how far the mileage for this incident goes.  
> Also hopefully I dropped enough hints that you figured out they were already dating before the 'reveal'. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!


End file.
